Former First Lady Michelle Obama recently released her new book titled The Light We Carry. With her last book, Becoming, being the highest selling book published in 2018, setting a record with over two million copies sold only 15 days after its publication, Obama brought  her book tour to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 

Obama was interviewed at the tour by Hoda Kotb. They discussed each others’ family lives in extensive detail. That was what the book surrounded mostly, the inquiries of meaning behind the word ‘family’ and how to use it as an adjective opposed to a noun. Michelle and Hoda both related closely to this wonder in different ways, Hoda Kotb: A single mom of two daughters under the age of 10, and Michelle Obama: The daughter of a man with Multiple Sclerosis and whom she admired greatly.  

Michelle brought up her struggle with having a father that is disabled, and how seeing the person who provided for the family and positioned as the rock, fall to the ground from his own body attacking him. Whenever her father would lose his footing, he would laugh it off and carry on. Whatever attributes you acquire from a family member is your decision, that is what the former first lady tried to communicate to us, the readers, when sharing her story. 

Choice of family is a common theme throughout The Light We Carry as well as the book tour. The societal standard of marriage is forced upon many of the younger generations. Obama felt this as well and made it a point to not place this pressure upon her own daughters, “Don’t get married to check a box,” she’d say. Her choice in a partner was meticulous. Being the brilliant woman she is, she wanted to find someone that would support her career as well have one themself, a relationship that went both ways, and someone that could keep up with and respect her. 

After eight years in the White House, everyone’s hair in the Obama family had gone gray. They all worked tirelessly to remain a poised figure of the United States of America. Former president Barack Obama was America’s first president of color. The concept of race will always be attributed with belonging. The expectations of women, especially those of color and in the public eye, are hard to meet. Michelle touches on this along with the subject of her daughters, saying, “it’s not just race, it’s not just gender, everyone wants to feel like they belong.” 

The first lady shed light on the agreement her family had with the press, she recognized, “I am subject to the public discussion,” and said that her daughter’s lives were as well. This lack of security daunted the family since both parents wanted their girls to grow up with a healthy amount of privacy and realized this would be difficult in their position. The deal was that the press must stay away from anything damaging that the teenage girls may be involved in, or that the publisher would lose contact with the president. This helped advance their name as one of the most drama-free presidencies and earned the respect of democrats and republicans alike. 

Being the first of anything is incredibly straining on a person’s reputation. The melodrama in the words “you have nothing to prove” is an apparent message throughout the book. In this world, proving your worth is a means of survival, the desire to be accepted is a social norm and generally acknowledged as something negative when it is more of a primal urge. Obama supported this concept when she answered a question with, “I have doubts, because I’m always trying to prove that I belong.”  To reach success is to care what others think. Choosing to ignore the criticism or consider it constructive, the choice is to those subjected to the critique. 

I highly recommend this book when facing any kind of struggle. It has realistic and positive medical and mental health advice. Whatever political stance a reader might have can be completely disregarded for this book for it is one of education and better self, not personal beliefs. Additionally, I absolutely suggest seeing Obama on her book tour. She is a fluent and intelligent speaker that engages the crowd very well.