By: Bella D’Adderio

He’s so fast, Hayden thought. There’s no way I can keep up with him.

It’s a rite of passage for most teenagers, the first job. For Hayden, it was as a dishwasher at a nursing home. Only part-time, but it would help him pay for a new car.

Soap, scrub, rinse, drying rack. Soap, scrub, rinse, drying rack. Faster, faster, Hayden thinks to himself. The soapy water makes everything slippery and slows him down. He can feel the sweat beading up on his forehead.

Suddenly a pair of salad tongs crashes to the floor.

Oh god! I’m falling behind!

Hayden panics. This is where it begins.

He puts the tongs in the drying rack with the clean dishes.

“What are you doing!” Hayden panics even more as his boss begins a tirade about hygiene.

“See these? Now you’ll have to rewash every last one!”

The embarrassment weighs down Hayden like a swimmer with a heavy stone. He can only fight the frustration and embarrassment for so long. Tears begin to well up.

“I- I just need a minute.” Hayden knew if he could just have a minute to catch his breath he’d be ok. He’d felt this way before. It was like a heavy stone was on his chest making it hard to breathe.

“What?” His boss barks, “Get back to work! You’re slowing everything down!”

Now his face feels hot and the tears start to stream down his face. His breathing is ragged, shallow. His body begins to shake, and he’s becoming dizzy. Hayden is hyperventilating.

“Am I losing my mind?” Hayden thought.

Hayden, whose name has been changed to protect his identity, is not losing his mind. He suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. And he is not alone. According to Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 3.1% of the United States population does as well.

“I thought about quitting right there and then,” said Hayden, “But, a cook came in and sat with me, and we did some breathing exercises until I was able to calm down.”

At times, those who suffer from anxiety feel as if there’s no way to stop the constant pressure and irrational fears, but there are ways to cope with anxiety.

Dr. Lidija Petrovic agrees. As the assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Penn State Hershey Medical Group, Petrovic is able to help those who suffer from anxiety. “One main strategy is learning how to calm yourself, muscle relaxation, and guided imagery,” said Dr. Petrovic.

For Hayden, he’s found that using a toy called a tangle, a twistable therapy device that you can pull apart and put back together, has helped him minimize his anxiety. When he’s really stressed out, he’s discovered talking to his friends and sleeping it off have also been useful.

However, making friends isn’t too easy for Hayden. Because of his anxiety, he tends to stay away from new people and isn’t as open as he would like to be. Anxiety has even prevented Hayden from doing things most wouldn’t think twice about.

“There’s certain things I’ll avoid at all possible situations like driving behind trucks that have open backs, public transportation, and going to restaurants,” said Hayden.   

Before Hayden was diagnosed, he thought these fears were normal. It’s not. Once anxiety becomes non maladaptive, in other words prevents us from doing things in our everyday life, it is a problem.

Hayden has had these fears for years, but he was diagnosed during his freshman year after visiting a therapist for his depression.

Freshman year wasn’t a piece of cake either, and hiding his anxiety during school was even harder.

“There are times when I’ll have to pretend that I’m okay, and I just will end up crying.” said Hayden.

Even at events most students love, such as school dances, Hayden would hide behind the bleachers and cry. What can be even scarier for him is the thought of even being seen like that. Hayden simply can’t deal with stressing others out, which tends to happen when the crying begins.

Lucky for Hayden, he has friends who know where he’s coming from because they suffer from anxiety disorders, too.

“Being with people who understand you is the best way to make sure you feel safe and secure in the place you are,” said Hayden.

At Hershey High School, the faculty tries its best to pursue that feeling. For example, Hayden has some teachers who give a more pleasant alternative to an assignment that would typically cause those with anxiety to panic. Students are also able to come and take a break in the school nurse to regroup if their anxiety is beginning to overwhelm them.

Except not all teachers are the same. Hayden feels as if some completely dismiss the issue and don’t think it exist. While this casual dismissal is quite common, Hayden doesn’t blame them.

“I feel like it’s really hard for people who don’t have [anxiety] to understand, and I kind of accept the fact that they don’t, and that I’m taking care of myself,” Hayden said, “I can’t blame them for not knowing.”

It took Hayden’s family a while to completely understand what he was going through. Not because they didn’t care, but because they just didn’t really know. Except Hayden’s parents aren’t alone, and this is a problem. Especially because anxiety rates are high. According to the Nuffield Foundation, the amount of 15-16 year-olds who have reported feeling anxious has doubled in the last 30 years.

“I believe there is an increase in diagnoses and assessment, but a decrease in stigma to mental illnesses,” said Dr. Petrovic.

Anxiety disorders can sometimes be perceived as a weakness or a laziness even for not wanting to do certain thing, but this isn’t the case at all.

“When a lot of people think of anxiety they think it’s more, ‘Oh, I don’t want to take this test because I’m going to fail,’ but it’s more of, ‘I don’t want to take this test, and I’m going to do everything possible to avoid it,” said Hayden.

Hayden is not alone. Jess, whose name has also been changed to protect her identity, suffers from an anxiety disorder, too. However, her form is social.

Imagine constantly being concerned about what everyone thinks of you. Even a simple task, like walking down the halls is unbearable because you feel everyone staring right at you, judging every move you make, waiting for you to break. Even more scary is that you can’t do anything right because of everyone’s different opinions.

This is Social Anxiety Disorder, it consist more worrying about what others think and being judged.

“It’s just like all eyes are on you all the time and it’s a lot of pressure that isn’t even there. It’s all in your head,” said Jess.

Sometimes sleeping her problems off allows Jess to clear her head, but other times it just makes matters worse. Because anxiety is a day to day issue, she can spend one day rationalizing her problems and others making every effort possible to avoid them.

Except sleeping and rationalizing doesn’t always do the trick. At one point, Jess’s anxiety disorder required her to check into a treatment center for a short period of time.

“There were a lot of appointments where I would be having terrible days and would put on a happy mask,” said Jess.

Once Jess was able to come home, the transition wasn’t as easy as she anticipated. Coming back to school was difficult because of the rumors that swirled about her. Some students said she was pregnant and doing drugs.

None of the rumors were true.

Jess suffers from a complex issue: Social Anxiety Disorder. In fact, there are a wide range of anxiety disorders: Social Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Separation Anxiety Disorder.

Levels of anxiety exist in many different mental stages as well. It is extremely important to understand that anxiety is normal in life, but that there are levels of severity.

“Anxiety is our brain reaction to danger and helps us be ready and able to adapt,” said Dr. Petrovic.

Every stage of anxiety has its own symptoms but anxiety symptoms can become especially problematic when they interfere with one’s social life, school, sleep, family, and behavior. A main way they become a dilemma is when one begins experience headaches, stomach aches, sweating and fatigue when they are anxious. This is what psychiatrists call psychosomatic symptoms.  A person who is experiencing these symptoms has more severe anxiety as opposed to a person who may bite their nails and feel anxious before taking a test.

But what really is the cause of this complex illness? Psychologists aren’t 100% sure, but they do know that genetics play a factor as well as the environment and your upbringing. In addition, being in stressful situations can exacerbate the symptoms.

Diagnosis can also be difficult. There is no single, standard test psychologist use to diagnose anxiety disorders. There are several. The most common tests for adolescents include the Multidimensional Anxiety Scale for Children (MASC) and the Screen for Child Anxiety Related Disorders (SCARED). When these tests are scored, psychiatrists are able to see four areas of anxiety. From there, the psychiatrist will administer additional screenings which identifies if the patient should receive professional help.

The Mayo Clinic, a nonprofit medical research group, noted that “Generalized anxiety disorder often occurs along with other mental health problems, which can make diagnosis and treatment more challenging.”  

One of the most common mental illnesses that runs with anxiety is depression, which Hayden and Jess both suffer from. Anxiety acts like a restraint, making you feel trapped. When this happens, people tend to give up and shut down. In other words, they become depressed. With both anxiety and depression, it begins to feel like you’re drowning and stuck in a mind that doesn’t feel right.

“Telling someone not to worry who is anxious is very hard. If they could, they would,” said Dr. Petrovic. “They’re not going to believe you because it’s not something they control very often.”

Except anxiety can get better. For Hayen, he’s been able to overcome many of his obstacles by just simply doing them. He believes nothing is impossible when it comes to having anxiety, and if he really needs to do something he will. For instance, Hayden was able to go to his girlfriend’s senior prom without having to leave. His freshman year, that wouldn’t have been close to imaginable.

Jess too has been slowly able to overcome her anxiety by acceptance,

“I’m not going to let anxiety control my life. I’m completely human, and everyone has their flaws.”

Take this quiz below to see what level of anxiety you may suffer from. 

https://www.qzzr.com/quiz/0b98444e-8647-446c-a2a6-0cc49d0d1bf8/fi9xdWl6emVzLzExMTQ5OQ